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Community Corner

Moms Talk: Too Sick for School

Deciding whether your child should stay home because of aches and pains can be tricky for busy moms.

Q: When is it best to keep a child home from school because of illness?

A: It’s hard to know sometimes whether a child is just hoping to stay in bed and watch movies all day or actually feels too horrible for school.

There are likely multiple, conflicting things running through your head when you hear your child whine about not feeling well—all before you’ve consumed your morning coffee.

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My approach is to take my son to school and have him try it out. I try this almost every time, and he usually makes it through the day, although I have had to pick him up from the nurse’s office at least a few times.

While work is generally the reason that drives me to encourage him to try out going to school for the day, my resistance to letting him dodge school plays another factor. Sometimes there’s guilt wrapped up in the package, too, though.

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I believe you should set your own parenting rules according to what makes sense to you and what works best for your family. 

However, if you want some basic guidelines, below are some questions to ask before saying yes or no to your child’s no-school cries:

  • Is it contagious? 

A temperature higher than 100.5 degrees is cause for concern. Spreading illness around school should be avoided, so until your child’s fever falls (without medication) he or she should stay home.

  • Do you know of any illnesses that have been going around?

If you know an illness is on the rampage and your child’s symptoms seem representative, then it’s probably legitimate and at least worth considering keeping him or her home for the day.

  • Is something else going on?

Sometimes children feign sickness to avoid dealing with life’s tricky situations. If you think anxiety or fear may be the real culprit, it’s time to have a talk so you can get your day going and your kid on the way to confronting those feelings.

It’s not easy to stay home with a sick kid with all the demands facing you. Sometimes it’s impossible, and too often we fail to ask those around us for help when they would be more than happy to provide it if we were to just ask.

If you have a friend, family member or neighbor who you trust to help out, maybe you could at least get a few hours of your work or tasks done and let your sick kid stay home, too.

If you practice asking for help in small amounts, you might just find that it makes your life easier.

Plus, people generally like helping, so you're giving them a gift, too, especially if you show them how much you appreciate their help by either reciprocating or doing something special for them when you have the chance.

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