Moms Talk: Laugh It Off

Q: The job of a parent is never-ending. How do you pull it together to be a good parent when life presents difficult circumstances? 

A: While most days I feel like a more-than-adequate parent, there are plenty in between when I feel, well, less so. Some days I feel like a middle schooler, fumbling my way through life, feeling even dorkier than I look. When I watched Greg Heffley, in Diary of a Wimpy Kid, awkwardly dragged to church with a chocolate stain on the back of his khakis, I thought: Parenting provides just as many difficulties as adolescence.

Yes, some days I feel dangerously unprepared, and as I stare at my almost-10-year-old, I wonder how we’ve made it this far. And how we will make it through the next 10. Yes, some days I feel like a wimpy parent.

When your parenting skills are elementary, when you’ve just had the worst day of your life, when plunging the toilet in the middle of preparing dinner and helping with homework feels like the straw that will break your back, try one of these quick fixes:

• Life’s hard, get a helmet—I saw the adage on the bumper of a car this week. I laughed. Laughter is a great remedy for a difficult day. We all could use more laughter, more often, whether it’s watching a fun movie or playing a silly game, like “Apples to Apples” to do the trick. Invoking laughter not only makes difficult times and days lighter, it shifts perspective, relaxes, recharges and dissolves distressing emotions like sadness, anger and anxiety. So, laugh.
• Be nice. We can always return to being nice. No matter how bad things get, no matter what your worries are, being nice will make things better. You get more flies with honey than vinegar. And being nice will boost your mood, too.
• Be nice to yourself. Give yourself a break. Do something positive that makes you feel good—take a bath, read a book or magazine, stretch, ask for a hug, offer a hug.
• Be grateful. Sometimes, when I’m at my wit's end, I take a breather and try to drum up a list of things I’m grateful for in the moment. It always brightens my mood, provides perspective and gets me in a space to deal with cleaning up the water all over the floor after I finally unstop the toilet.
• Learn something. Mistakes are learning opportunities. Instead of being critical about your shortcomings, find the perspective to learn a lesson.
• Communicate. Share the lesson you learned with your kids. They will not only appreciate that you are able to learn from your mistakes, they will also model the behavior and be more able to accept themselves for who they are and communicate in return.

Oh, and head to the movies. That's always a great way to reconnect, relax and let the small stuff go.